When I was a kid I remember my mother being on the phone a lot. No, it wasn't an iPhone. It was a green wall phone with a curly cord that could, if you twisted it in just the right direction, stretch all the way from the kitchen to the living room.
The phone rang multiple times a day. My mom's friends, Janice and Mrs. Isbell, called every day. Aunt Diane and Aunt Shirley called almost every day. There were also frequent conversations with many more friends and neighbors.
My great Uncle Jerry called a good bit, too. If either of my sisters or I answered one of Uncle Jerry's calls, he could easily trick us into believing he was a radio station and we were the lucky prize winners. "If someone in your house is named Debbie (my mother's name, of course) then you are the lucky winner of fill-in-the-blank."
"Mom!!!! Dad!!!! WE'VE WON SOMETHING BIG!"
"Must be Uncle Jerry calling again," my parents would reply.
If you didn't grow up in the 1980's then you're wondering why we didn't recognize Uncle Jerry's number on the caller ID. There was no caller ID.
Being on the phone in the 80's meant something entirely different than it does in 2021. For one, you'll notice I keep saying "the" phone. In 2021 you no longer use a definite article. Instead you use a singular personal pronoun in front of the word phone: your phone, his phone, her phone, my phone. As a kid, phones weren't isolated to one person. It was the family phone. (My mom likes this Rock Hudson/Doris Day movie called Pillow Talk featuring party lines...that's before my time.)
In my childhood, the family phone was a medium through which information entered our home. Sure we had television, radio, and newspapers. Television, radio, and newspapers connected our family to public information and public events. The family phone connected us to personal information.
If someone was moving, if someone was changing jobs, if someone just had a baby, if someone had a crazy experience, if someone was coming to town, or if someone needed prayer, all these personal tidbits came through the green telephone with the long curly cord hanging on the kitchen wall.
We also learned about all these personal happenings in person through face to face conversations. Maybe it was a conversation at church, or at Bill Arp Elementary's annual Fall Festival. Maybe we learned about things at the high school football game on Friday night. Or maybe we just bumped into a friend at Kroger or Winn-Dixie, or at the Douglas County Public Library, or at the Hunter Park playground.
Things have changed. In 2021, your phone brings you both public and personal news. Social media has become the medium. You don't ever actually need to go anywhere or talk with anyone face to face. It actually seems like you hope not to bump into anyone at the store (that is, if you still go to brick and mortar stores). Many folks wouldn't see you out in public anyway because they're on their phones, face down, engrossed by a glowing rectangular screen learning about the lives of close, personal friends.
Using your modern smartphone you still know what people ate last night at dinner and if the service was good or bad, you still know who's in trouble and needs prayer, you still know who just got a new job and is moving, and you still know where they went on vacation. You can even look through their family vacation photo album. In the 80's you only had access to someone's family photo album if you had a meal in their home.
Social media is a very powerful tool. It's fast. It's efficient. You can connect with so many so quickly. There are definitely many, many benefits. Text messaging is fun, too.
Despite the benefits, the experience of connecting with others through my phone today isn't nearly as fulfilling as connecting with others was in the 80's. I know more effort and more time is required to make a phone call to each friend and family member. I know it is a slow process to share news with others in person, face to face, at church or in the community. Regardless of the required effort, however, connecting with people face to face and through personal telephone calls is always richer, warmer, fuller, and just plain better.
I'm bored with social media. I don't really want to quit using it. I just prefer laughing in a group with other people rather than laughing by myself. I prefer sharing great news with others face to face and seeing smiles, bright eyes, and looks of joy. Encouraging text messages and Facebook posts are comforting in difficult times, but I much prefer praying in a circle with others.
Let's commit to pushing back against isolation. Social media does connect us with others, but the ironic byproduct is loneliness and loss of community. In the interest of deep, long-lasting relationships, let's find ways to do things together in person. Next time don't text, dial their number. Next time resist the urge to post a photo online. Instead go visit a friend and share your story face to face. Keep your phone in your pocket next time you're at the playground with your child. Make eye contact. Offer a kind word of spoken encouragement. Use your smartphone for helpful things like finding directions, but don't let your phone direct your life.
